From the Mixed-Up Files of Ms. K.G. Pezzenweiler

April Happy List

2009-04-16T21:24:00.000-07:00

1. Cooking with friends: Dupree and I made chicken carbonara on Friday. It was fun to cook with him even though I hit him for eating the chicken while he was shredding it.

2. Tim’s birthday party: Tim reserved part of Barca for us and it was a ton of fun having our own section and lots of room to mingle. It was great to see old friends and party like it was 1997 along with meeting some of Tim’s coworkers and students.

3. Circus Contraption: My birthday present to Tim. It was one of those shows that made me love Seattle. Just the fact that little shows like this with amazing acts can exist makes me happy. We went to Via Tribunali for dinner after the show and it was an excellent date night. I think I could be a professional date planner. Seriously. I come up with the most fun things. Too bad I’m terrible at finding boyfriends.

4. Running: I’m taking up running. Well for now I’m still walking more than I’m running, but it’s good and I like it.

5. Justin: A new friend this year that is totally fun and also enjoys cartoons.

6. Tim Walker’s photography: It is a fairytale or circus act or make believe. His portfolio is incredibly inspiring. Look closely for those of Tim Burton and Helena Bonham-Carter. They are a treat. A crazy weird treat.

7. 80s movie and crafts night: This is the fourth month and so far it has been a success. We are watching License to Drive and I think I might work on some embroidery. You gotta love the two Coreys and we haven’t watched a really bad movie yet.

8. Reading: I haven’t done it a lot lately and it makes me feel like something is missing. I need to get back into the books I’ve started.

9. Kris Kristofferson: Rolling Stone had an amazing article by Ethan Hawke about Kris Kristofferson. My favorite bit from the article is on the website and it is definitely something you should read. Because of this anecdote and the rest of the article, I have a huge crush on Kristofferson right now. He’s supremely talented and I need to rent some of his old movies from Netflix. It might even help me out of my Paul Newman phase.

10. Cupcakes: Although I’m disappointed in the Ham’s new cupcake shop, I have it on good authority that there are amazing cupcakes being sold at the Farmer’s Market. I’m going Saturday to investigate.

11. Aziz Ansari: I first saw him at Bumbershoot two or three years ago, but now he seems be getting noticed. He was in Human Giant, then Scrubs, and now has a big role on Parks and Recreation. Worst Mix-Tape is an old favorite.

12. Blueberry season: I know it isn’t blueberry season yet, but I’ve been dreaming of making these blueberry almond cupcakes for months and I refuse to make them with frozen blueberries.
13. Laura: She’s always fun to hang out with, is quick to laugh and make me laugh, and provides good and supportive advice when I get whiney. She is a gem.

14. Carrie’s upcoming visit: Only two weekends until I see one of my number one ladies.

15. Etsy prints: Emily posted a link on Facebook with some letterpress prints that I need to own. For now, I’m enjoying looking at them online and dreaming of where I will hang them.

16. My brother’s dancing video: see below. I can’t stop watching it and I can’t stop laughing when I’m watching it.

17. Watching Dupree’s business come together: Going along for the ride while his dreams of a coaching practice become a reality is a joy to watch.

18. The most beautiful clock in the world: I’m bidding it on right now on Ebay. I’ll know if it is mine in a few days. I’m guessing the price will skyrocket, but for now I’m thinking happy thoughts. Perhaps I will hang it next to the print set above in my imaginary retro house.

19. The song from Circus Contraption: I’ve sung it at least once a day since we saw the show. It goes like this: “Love, love, love, we got it in slop buckets! It sloshes around in there. If some spills we don’t care. ‘Cause we got plenty of love to go around.” Then repeat for forever.

20. WE shows: I’ve probably seen them play 50 times. Maybe not that many, but it seems like that many. I’ve never counted. Anyway, I never get sick of it. Never ever. They are the most fun and it’s not just because they are my friends.

Peep Show

2009-04-15T22:15:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter! I know it is now three days passed, but if you go to any major grocery or pharmacy chain right now, you can still get deep discounts on a variety of delectable Easter treats.

Easter is the undisputed candy holiday champion. Don't even attempt to argue with me. I will not be swayed. Halloween is all about candy, but it doesn't have a variety of its own special treats. On Halloween, all your costume gets you is tiny versions of candy bars you can get at full size all the time. This is not special. This is a trick being played on you! On Easter you get a basket of a variety of amazingly specialized treats delivered right to your door and you don't even have to walk around your neighborhood dressed like Slutty Spongebob for these rewards. What about candy corn you ask? Halloween has candy corn. Well guess what? No one except Judy likes candy corn. Easter has malted milk eggs, giant chocolate bunnies, fudge eggs with your name on them (personalized candy!), those amazing tiny hard shell Hershey eggs, and the Godfather of all candy, the mighty Cadbury Cream Eggs.

Easter also, most importantly for the sake of this blog entry, has Peeps. Peeps started just as an Easter treat, but now have branched out to snowman and trees at Christmas, ghosts at Halloween, and hearts for Valentine's Day. I'm one of the few people I know that enjoys eating Peeps. For reasons I don't understand, many people seem frightened by marshmallows manipulated into holiday shapes. Peeps have become more of a pop culture phenomena than actual food. Luckily for us, the Washington Post sponsored a Peeps diorama contest with some amazing results. Click through their slideshow to see Peep-based homages to Octomom, the Nighthawks painting, the US Airways crash on the Hudson, and other historical events and happenings. My personal favorite is Octomom, but Nighthawks took the grand prize. Many entries are highly detailed and very entertaining. Now Peeps are both food and art!

(Thank you Laura for bringing this contest to my attention.)

Your Tax Dollars at Work

2009-04-02T20:29:00.000-07:00

My brother is a US Marine currently undergoing security training in Virginia. This is what they do in their off time.

(P.S. My brother is the adorable one in the front.)

February Intention Review

2009-03-13T22:43:00.000-07:00

In order to stay accountable to my 2009 intentions, I must write about them every month. I thought I’d do a short review of the items that applied to February.

Complete two crafty projects a month.
This one was easy of course. I finished two mini-albums. (One on my trip to the San Diego Zoo in October 2008 and the other a Valentine’s day gift for Tim featuring pictures of us in college.) I did buy some materials for new projects though and this is one thing I’d like to stop doing. I need to be more economical and use supplies I already have to finish projects I’ve already started.

Read two books a month.
Last month I wrote that this goal should always be a gimme. Of course, this month, I didn’t accomplish the goal. I finished Oscar Wao, but started and did not finish two other books.

Go to at least one concert a month of a band that does not count one of my friends as a member.
I went to see Super Diamond for Z’s birthday. This again should be easy to accomplish every month. The first two months though, I saw bands that I’ve seen previously. In March, I want to take this one step further and see a band that is new to me.

Double the amount of money I give to charities over 2008’s total.
No action was taken on this goal in February. I need to work more on this goal this month. I think it will be a challenge to accomplish this goal this year. Last year, I had this same goal and it was easy, because I just doubled the amount of money taken out of my paycheck and given directly to United Way. I decided not to double that amount again this year, because although Bellingham’s needs are many, I’d like to focus on other areas. My two main areas of focus will be Donor’s Choose projects in Detroit area classrooms and supporting the Whatcom Hospice Foundation.

When selecting Donor’s Choose projects in the past, I would focus on high poverty areas affected by Hurricane Katrina. The need is still great there, but I’ve been interested in and saddened by the degradation and decaying of Detroit for some time. It’s a shame that what was once one of America’s greatest cities is now reduced to ruin. In the last few months both Sports Illustrated and Rolling Stone have featured articles on the city as it failing relates to their sports teams and music scenes. Although sending some money to classrooms in Detroit won’t save the city, it is something little that I can do from across the country.

Supporting the Whatcom Hospice is much more personal, as they provided outstanding care and support to my friend in his last days. The work they do eases some of the burden placed on the dying’s family and I’m thankful that they were there to help my friends.

Re-commit to exercise plan by working out at least seven hours a week.

This intention continues to be only half-way fulfilled. I did better than January, but still feel that I can work out more and harder. I’d like to try doing a longer workout in the morning, but that means getting up right away instead of hitting the snooze button.

Finally, just because I don’t want to post a boring blog without a picture, the above is a shot of me and my new favorite hat on the shores of Langley, WA at Mystery Weekend 2009. (Photo by Z.)

Happy List

2009-03-12T21:50:00.000-07:00

February was a crappy month. It was split into two distinct parts. Before and after. First the worry about the rapidly declining health of a loved one and then too soon later the grief and anguish over the loss of that loved one. It was sudden. It was surprising. I am sad. Now, I focus on the superficial. Amidst tragedy, life kept moving. I laughed. I had fun. Things made me happy. Here is a list of those things.

1. Mystery Weekend: I think we’ve attended the Mystery Weekend in Langely for six years now. It’s the best kind of girls’ weekend. We collect clues, interview suspects, and map out motives. Oh yes, we also do a lot of catching up, shopping, and eating. It’s good to be surrounded by those that have known you the longest.

2. Woodland Wonderland Wood Maze: Of course I don’t need any more fabric, but my collection of blues and oranges is almost large enough to make a quilt.

3. Mr. T pattern: The full color pictures make me laugh every time I flip through the book.

4. Mr. Blue by Catherine Feeny: It’s just a sweet little song.

5. Super Diamond concert: Amazingly fun show with amazingly fun people to celebrate amazing roommate’s birthday. Bonus amazingness goes out to my new black dress.

6. Cupcakes and Zombies print: Two of my favorite things together. This will soon hang in my kitchen.

7. Kanye’s new girlfriend: half supermodel, half robot. I’m trying to quit online gossip sites, but I just can’t! I like she’s crazy beautiful in a weird way. (Side note: In this photo Kanye is wearing a letterman’s jacket from one of my high school’s divisional rivals.)

8. Books: I’m working on way too many now: World War Z, Happier, Blood Lite, Couch. It would be good if I actually finished a book sometime.

9. Cheese store: Bellingham’s Quel Fromage has way too many delicious cheeses. My favorite right now is called Barely Buzzed which has a coffee and lavender blend rubbed on it. Fancy, right?

10. Screen printing: Now that I have a giant tub of emulsion and four months to use it, I better make some more stuff. The only thing that impedes my progress here is my lack of Photoshop and drawing skills. It’s hard to make a design, but it is fun to print!

11. Roller Derby: The anticipation for this weekend’s match is building. I’m excited to go and cheer on F.L.A.S.H. Plus Laura got an amazing black eye at practice and I’m so jealous of it. She looks like a total bad-ass.

12. Carrie’s A Love Letter to the Lost: because it’s beautiful and perfect and I read it every day.

13. Downtown Bellingham art: There is a bunch of newish stuff on many street corners my favorite is the big tacky sword and the big red macaroni. I’m guessing it really isn’t called “big red macaroni” but that’s what it looks like and I haven’t been next to it to read a plaque.

14. De Blob: a strange, relaxing, adorable game for Wii.

15. Seeing Rob: I took a long weekend and went home to visit my brother while he was between training sessions with the Marines. Now that he is away from home, I value every opportunity to hug that kid.

16. Silly workouts: workout DVDs are some ridiculous fun. Lately I’ve done Shaun T’s Rockin’ Body and Working out to the Hit: Motown. I don’t know if they make me feel good because of the workout or because they are silly. I think it’s probably the silliness.

17. Music: I’ve been desperate for some new stuff lately, so I’ve been into the Yeah Yeah Yeahs and Dan Auerbach and Neko Case.

18. Alexander McQueen’s Fall/Winter 09 show: crazy big weird lip treatments, crazy big weird feather outfit, crazy big weird high heels. It’s crazy inspiring.

19. Macarons: Cakespy profiled Honoeré, a new bakery on Capitol Hill. They make amazing macarons, which I first saw profiled on the Black Apple. I’ve been wanting to make them ever since, but need to taste a real one before I attempt it. Now I have the perfect place to go and try one and also the take pictures of the beautiful cookies.

20. Friends new and old: I’m lucky because thanks to old friends, I met some new friends last year. I feel especially lucky to have met Shannon because she is made of pure fun and wonderfulness. Thanks to my vast network of awesome friends, life is more fun and hard times more bearable.

He’s Here!

2009-02-28T02:35:00.000-08:00

The Mr. T pattern has arrived and I’ve read the instructions and started ordering the needed supplies. First, I looked for the fabric for his skin, because I thought this would be the most difficult thing to find. I did all my shopping online, because the thought of going to some sort of doll-making supply store sounded frightening. The pattern called for “non-run interlock polyester knit.” I didn’t have much luck there, but using the search terms “doll skin fabric” I hit the jackpot. I settled on a chocolate cotton knit because the website describe it as “premium dollskin” and the Mr. T shade was discounted 50%. The fabric, a 3.5” needle, and matching thread are on their way to me. Once they arrive I can begin making my very own Mr. T!

While shopping for these supplies online, I discovered that doll making websites are totally creepy. There are weird doll patterns, naked eunuch doll bodies, and something called "alligator forceps." Seeing these things online just proved to me that I was definitely not prepared to venture out to a brick and mortar doll making supply store. *shudder*

Personalized Muppets!

2009-02-21T13:33:00.000-08:00

The only thing I love as much as Mr. T is the Muppets. When I was a kid, My parents took me to see an exhibit of some of the Muppets at OMSI. I watched Muppet Babies and reruns of the Muppet Show religiously. The first movie I saw in the theater was the Great Muppet Caper. I wanted my own Muppet. Imagine my surprise when I realized that this is a possibility today. Shortly before Christmas, I discovered that F.A.O. Schwarz launched a make-your-own Muppet workshop. Popularity was higher than supply and the Muppet Maker was down all through the holiday season. It’s back-up now and offers a few basic shapes along with many eyes, noses, and outfits.

So, if you ever have and extra $90 that you want to spend on me, this is what I want! The best Muppet I designed was orange with the horn-rimmed glasses, a red nose, bald fringe and the plaid jaket. I named him Melvin Whipple. (Sidenote: Did you know that there is a cowboy poet named Melvin Whipple? I didn’t, but he seems like a cool cat.)

Finally, I just noticed today that a Jim Henson exhibit is coming to EMP this summer. This is exciting news. From the pictures, I think Rowlf might be there. This will be more exciting than seeing Yoda. Who’s in?

Jackpot!

2009-02-20T22:23:00.000-08:00

I have found it! The thing I have wanted most in the world for some time now.

It is an original uncut pattern book from 1984 with detailed instructions on making your very own Mr. T doll. My love of crafts and Mr. T is well documented. This product is the perfect marriage of two things I hold dear. I only became aware of this pattern less than a year ago. I don’t remember how I found it, but I came across an article on gallery that was having an exhibit of 100s of Mr. T dolls made from the above pattern. Greg Rivera, the collector, had been purchasing these homemade Mr. T dolls on Ebay for some time and had even commissioned a group of artists to make Mr. T dolls based on the pattern for a charity auction. The show was back in 2005, but photos of some of the dolls can be found on flickr.

You better believe that if I knew about this pattern in 1984, I would have had my Grammy whip me up one of these dolls along with a full camouflage, denim, and sweat pant wardrobe. My Grammy has mad crafting skillz. (Yes; with a z!) She made me a Pound Puppy, crocheted Bert and Ernie dolls, clothes for my Barbies, and a whole raft of other amazing toys. If I sent her this pattern tomorrow, she probably would make me my very own Mr. T doll. She would think I was crazy, but she would do it. I think this is something I should try to do myself. The problem is, I don’t have mad sewing skillz, just novice sewing skills. (Too lame to end in z.) I have even less drawing skills, which I believe is how he gets his eyes and brows. Once the pattern arrives and I start the project, I plan on documenting my progress (or failures) here. Stay tuned!

25 Random Things

2009-02-11T22:01:00.000-08:00

I was tagged on Facebook a million times, so I decided to double post here and there. Enjoy. Enjoy twice!

1. I love horoscopes. My favorite one this week said, “You've been riding a wave of positive energy. Help others get on the wave with you!” Dear everybody,
Come on in. The water is fine.
Love, Kerry
2. My Miss Richland softball team had a rivalry with H.A.P.O. bank’s team. I still boo when I pass the Richland branch. Zinn Photo forever!
3. This much I know is true: If you think you’re expert enough to make a list of the Top 10 Christmas movies ever made and you don’t include the Christmas Story on that list, then you are an idiot. Not only should it be on the list, but it should be and is the best Christmas movie ever made.
4. Recently, I saw another list by some self-proclaimed “expert” that had a major omission that made me discredit the entire list. I, however, cannot remember the topic of the list or whatever I thought was missing from it.
5. Recently and relatedly, I started taking Gingko Biloba in the hopes that things like #4 would stop happening.
6. Rainbow Connection is the sweetest song ever written. I have four versions of it on my ipod. I would like at least one more by someone who shall remain nameless. He knows who he is.
7. My brother is my hero and I have the sweatshirt to prove it.
8. I always say that Sorry is my favorite board game, but who am I kidding? It is actually Scrabble. A few weeks ago, I got three bingos in a row. Yes, I am bragging. I’m sorry, but that is just awesome. I don’t expect that to ever happen again.
9. If you don’t like the Muppets, then I don’t think you are worth knowing. I consider it an essential mark of a good and reasonable person. Seriously.
10. Also, I often judge people’s sense of humor on their opinion of MTV’s The State. If you don’t like the State, I probably won’t believe you when you tell me something is funny. I’m not proud of it, but a girl has to have standards.
11. I think animal nicknames and nicknames ending in the long E sound are pretty much the cutest thing ever. Someone recently called me pumpkin-head as a term of endearment. Some might be offending, but I liked it.
12. A short list of mythical/sci-fi/awesome creatures I like: vampires, zombies, unicorns, aliens, yetis, ninjas, pirates and monsters of all sorts.
13. A shorter list of mythical/sci-fi creatures that I dislike: fairies.
14. My favorite color is green and I usually like the green character the best. (ie Luigi and Martian Manhunter and to a lesser extent Cheer Bear, but I like him/her more because I think him/her should be called Irish Bear. Sidenote: Did the Care Bears have genders?)
15. I like making soap. I also like baking. A third thing I like to do is send packages of goodies to my friends. I am sad that you can’t send soap in with a package of cookies because it will make the cookies taste like soap. If I could figure out how to solve this problem, I believe my treat packages would be world-changing and unstoppable.
16. I remember what #4 was about: cupcakes! I read a list of best cupcake places and not only was Trophy not number 1, it wasn’t even on the list. I’m sorry St. Cupcake and Cupcake Royale, you are good, but you are no Trophy. (Maybe Gingko works?!)
17. My first celebrity crush was Bo Duke.
18. My second was Murdock from the A-Team.
19. I’m very ashamed when I don’t like critically acclaimed movies that everyone I know loves. I give these movies a 3-star rating in my Netflix queue, so people will think I have good taste in movies. Truth is I hated Donnie Darko and Lost in Translation. Let’s face it, I just don’t have good taste in movies. Caveman starring Ringo Starr is one of my favorites.
20. The worst hangover I ever had was after a night of playing Heroclix for shots. That is the nerdiest possible way to get a hangover.
21. The perfect date involves four stops: restaurant, arcade, bar with live music, cupcake or donut shop. If you go to Jules Mae you can kill two birds with one stone and play Skee Ball between bands. If you are in Portland you can go to Ground Kontrol and end the night at VooDoo Doughnut. The number one reason I miss the Crocodile is that I haven’t been to Shorty’s since it closed.
22. I love outside birds a lot. I don’t know the names of many. I think pet birds are disgusting.
23. Tacos should be capitalized. (For example: Tonight, I’m making Tacos! Gee these Tacos are superb.) They deserve the respect that capitalization in the middle of a sentence provides.
24. I’ve recently realized the supporting my family and friends’ endeavors is my greatest pleasure. Sure, I don’t have a band or make amazing cakes or do roller derby or sell my art or crafts, or want to be a Marine, but I know people who do. They kick ass and I’m so proud of them.
25. Meeting Mr. T would be my greatest honor. I don’t know what I would say, but it would be really cool to give him a hug.

Short rant on Congress

2009-02-10T22:58:00.000-08:00

Congress decided to delay the switch to fancy digital cable, because the American public is confused and many have not purchased their converter boxes yet. It’s nice to know that during this time of economical turmoil, presidential change, and war that Congress is spending time worrying if everyone is going to get to watch their Deal or No Deal come February. Let’s cut to the chase. We’ve known for over two years that this switch is going to occur by February 2009. The message has been scrolling across the bottom of Jeopardy for months now. We are a nation of procrastinators, Congress. If Joe the Plumber hasn’t picked up his little converter box yet, that’s too damn bad. As soon as his TV stops working, driving over to Radio Shack will shoot to the top of his to-do-list. How about getting some real work done?

2009

2009-01-28T22:04:00.000-08:00

I start every new year (and every new month) with a set of intentions. It’s the only way I can keep myself accountable and actually accomplish my goals. Without boring you with exact wording, this year my focus is on conservation. This encompasses everything from reading books and using craft supplies I have already purchased to building up my savings and supporting the Washington economy by buying from local businesses and purchasing food from local sources.

More specific action items for 2009 include:
1. Complete two crafty related projects a month.
2. Read two books a month.
3. Go to at least one concert a month of a band that does not count one of my friends as a member.
4. Join the Co-op
5. Double the amount of money I give to charities over 2008’s total.
6. Visit Sara and Isaiah.
7. Re-commit to exercise plan by working out at least seven hours a week.
8. Put money in my savings accounts every month.

January is almost over and I’ve definitely made positive strides. I’ve been crafting up a storm too, completing 3 mini-books, the entire syllabus of an online scrapbook class I took this fall, five embroidered onsies for a friend that had a baby, a banner for the best band on Earth, and a few other smaller projects. I’ve also read two books Dead Until Dark and Living Dead in Dallas by Charlaine Harris and started the Brief Wonderous Life of Oscar Wao and Happier. I’m also going to see Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings and the Ivan Milev Band on Saturday. These three action items are almost gimmes though. They should be actions that I accomplish easily each month.

Also, I joined the Co-op. That was a no-brainer, especially now that they have a branch by my apartment. Buying local milk and eggs are the first changes I'm making, but I need to begin shopping there every week. Until they can grow bananas in the Pacific Northwest, I will never be able to buy everything from local sources. I’ve begun organizing and purging of my craft supplies and closet. The projects is not complete, but there is definitely a lot less crafty mess around the apartment. I’ve also restarted my vacation savings account and set some Christmas money aside in my house savings account.

The month hasn’t been completely successful though. I haven’t been strict about not purchasing new crafty supplies or books though. I bought three new books, but only completed two. I borrowed the two I completed, so my collection of unread books has only grown. I did visit all of the craft stores in town (yes, all five of them) and purchase something at every stop. (Ack!) Luckily, I’ve been moderately successful with recommitting to working out, but feel that I could improve in this area. I need to start regularly working out in the morning again.

Good thing I didn’t make a New Year’s intention to blog more. That would have failed absolutely miserably.

Ewww Gross! Fetus Cookies

2008-12-02T22:39:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite things to buy at antique stores is cookie cutters. I have a small collection of ordinary shapes. Since cupcakes are my medium of choice, I don't decorate cookies very often. When I do, though, I like to have lots of options. Most of my cutters are standard like flowers, hearts, a snowman, and a football. The craziest (and favorite) shape I have is a mustache. I didn't think you could get too out there with cookie cutters. I thought there would be some things that people wouldn't want in cookie shape. For example, a fetus shape. That is a shape people would not be comfortable eating. Turns out, I was wrong. People do want to eat fetus shaped cookies, so much so that they need to buy a fetus shaped cookie cutter. Zandra pointed me to this entry at one of my favorite blogs, Cake Wrecks, and although many of you may already read this fine blog, I thought this atrocity warranted further mention.

Um, gross. Why would anyone want to eat a fetus shaped cookie? Who is this person that thought, "Hmm. I'm going to a baby shower.

It is baby themed. I'll bring cookies shaped like babies. Not born babies though; unborn babies! Mmm delicious!" Furthermore, who are the people that went to the baby shower, ate the fetus cookies and then encouraged the maker that there is a market for fetus shaped cookie cutters. Quite a few people had to green-light this hideous thing before it was brought to us consumers. Some things just ain't right and this is one of those things. If you disagree, you can purchase your very own fetus shaped cookie cutter from stupid.com.

P.S. If you've read all of the Cake Wrecks archive and would like to see some amazingly good-looking cakes and baby shower appropriate treats, check out Kellechu Cakes. My good friend Kelley, makes incredible Rock Band and other awesome non-wreck cakes.

Turducken: Now with more meat!

2008-12-02T19:18:00.000-08:00

Some of you may just be getting over your Thanksgiving day food coma. I still have three or four meals worth of turkey left, but it's not too early to think about next year. Now you've heard of a Turducken, right? That's a chicken stuffed inside a duck, stuffed inside a turkey. Then it's all cooked up and enjoyed by many. Well, apparently enjoyed. I've never tried it, so I don't know. Dupree sent me a link to the ultimate Thanksgiving dinner treat. The good people at Bacon Today (and I say that because only good people would have a blog devoted solely to bacon) thought that only bacon could make a turducken even more amazing? They outline the complete steps for making a Turbaconducken.

Pictures of raw meat are pretty gross, but take a good look at that monstrosity, I mean delicacy, at left. It's incredible. The masterminds at Bacon Today clearly thought this process through, because not only is the entire turkey wrapped in bacon, but the duck inside the turkey is also wrapped in bacon.

In case you think that isn't enough pig product for one meal, the chicken inside the bacon-wrapped duck, inside the bacon-wrapped turkey is also wrapped in bacon. The Turbaconducken is both feat of engineering and a work of art. Consider making it for your family feast next Thanksgiving. Heck, even make it this year for Christmas!

Halloween, You've Gone Too Far

2008-11-19T21:59:00.000-08:00

The sexy Halloween costume has become more and more popular over the last few years. I believe it started with real-life jobs that have sexy counterparts in the porn world. This category would include sexy nurse, sexy teacher, sexy sailor, or sexy cop. Later, it branched out into the fantasy world. That brought us sexy pirate, sexy witch, and the viking vixen among many others. Then the sexy costume became an epidemic. Sexy versions of hundreds of standard costumes began popping up in the Halloween costume aisle. This year, though, I noticed a disturbing new trend in Halloween costumes: the sexy cartoon character. At one party I intended, I spied a young lady dressed as sexy Buzz Lightyear. This prompted me to do some research into sexy cartoon character costumes. I found sexy Jane Jetson and Wilma Flintstone. That's fine, I could see how these characters could be morphed into their sexy counterparts.

While I thought the sexy Buzz Lightyear was questionable, the biggest violation of this new sexy costume category is sexy SpongeBob SquarePants.

SpongeBob should not be sexy. Let me repeat that: SPONGEBOB SHOULD NEVER BE SEXY. You see, SpongeBob is a sponge. He is a kitchen variety rectangular yellow sponge charged with cleaning spills and washing dishes. There is nothing sexy about a sponge. Also, SpongeBob is a male sponge. He does not wear a skirt. He wears pants. In fact, he wears pants so often that he has adopted "pants" as part of his last name. He is directly identifiable by his love of pants and, therefore, his lack of skirt.

Now ladies, I value the sexy costume. If you would like to dress sexy on Halloween or to any other costume required event, I say go for it. Sexy SpongeBob fits all the requirements of a sexy costume. You've got the tight shirt, the short skirt, and the high and, therefore, uncomfortable heel. This costume even comes with an extra accessory, a strategically placed "neck tie" that acts as an arrow pointing directly to ones naughty bits. This costume is text book sexy costume. The flaw is the character itself.

Next Halloween, I implore you ladies, stick to sexy costumes that make sense. Go out as sexy Super Girl or French Maid or even sexy Ghostbuster. At least there could be a female Ghostbuster. Stick to costumes that can actually be female and sexy. There can never be a female male sponge, Ladies. Never.

The Circle of Life

2008-11-13T18:17:00.000-08:00

Walking to the car two mornings ago, Z and I saw a cat catch a bird. The cat walked with us toward the car and then dropped the bird from its mouth. The bird was still alive, but it could no longer fly. The cat snatched the bird and ran into the bushes. Not too happy with the scene before me, I exclaimed, "Oh no! ewwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Zandra honestly replied, "Well, it's the circle of life." I agreed. It's true. She's right. It is the circle of life.

This morning, walking to the car, we found a wing, some feathers, and a golf-ball size mass of intestines laying on the sidewalk. Zandra exclaimed, "ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!"

Yes. I agreed. "ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!"

Not so circle of life now, is it.

(Photo is of a needle felted robin I made from a kit purchased at Fancy Tiger in Denver, CO.)

Changing Tastes, A List

2008-11-11T22:25:00.000-08:00

Thing I used to dislike, but now I like:

broccoli
mushrooms
zuchini
pineapple
olives
artichokes
blue cheese
wheat bread
tea
beer

Things I used to like, but now I dislike:

Tang

Blog Manifesto

2008-11-11T22:16:00.000-08:00

While I don't consider myself a writer, I do feel that what written communication skills I do have are getting rusty. I've started ending far too many sentences with a preposition. I use the words "like" and "really" much too often. Blame it on technology or laziness but, my writing skills aren't as honed now that I'm not using them regularly. Also, I miss blogging. While, I've been a member of group blogs before, this is my first foray into a blog of my own.

I plan to use this blog as a storing house for things I find interesting and want not only to share with you, dear readers, but to serve as a reference for me. Let's face it. I forget stuff all the time. Stuff, I want to remember, like bringing my roommate's bag home when she asks me. There is no way I'll remember many cool things like new songs I like and craft tutorials I want to try, unless I link to them here. I've struggled with deciding on a theme for the blog, because the blogs that I enjoy the most and read regularly focus on one subject. They are either craft blogs or cooking blogs or video game blogs. The more I thought about it though, I realized that I enjoy far too many activities and have too many hobbies to stick to a theme. Here I will focus on what I love. Topics will be as diverse as crafts and video games and football and really bad TV to really good movies and books. If you don't see anything that you like in the "About Me" section in the right hand column, then I invite you to move along now. That list is a pretty honest assessment of topics I will write about at some point. Welcome and enjoy!